Nobody has this conversation soon enough. After a parent dies, the reality of what heirs wish their parents had done hits fast. There are legal decisions to make, bills to pay, siblings to coordinate with, and a house to deal with, often in a state you don’t even live in. The families who struggle the most are almost always the ones who never talked about any of it beforehand. Most of the pain is preventable, but only if the planning happens while there is still time.
This article is written from the perspective of heirs who have been through it. Every “wish” on this list comes from the real-world problems families face when they inherit property without enough planning. In The State of Inherited Property Report 2026, our survey of 1,350 heirs and executors, the two most common answers to what respondents would do differently were getting a property valuation earlier at 36% and starting the legal or probate process sooner at 25%. If your parents are still alive, this is your playbook for the conversation you need to have. If you’ve already inherited and recognize these problems, you’re not alone.
For the full step-by-step guide to pre-death planning, see our guide to preparing to inherit property.
What do heirs wish their parents had done before they died? The most common regrets heirs report are: put the house in a revocable living trust to avoid probate, had an honest conversation about what happens to the house, organized estate documents in one place, addressed deferred maintenance, created a plan for multiple heirs including naming a decision-maker, disclosed all debts including the mortgage, HELOC, and reverse mortgage, set up a durable power of attorney, and consulted an estate attorney, CPA, and experienced broker before it was too late. Every one of these steps takes less time and costs less money than the problems they prevent.
Key Takeaways
- Set up a revocable living trust and transfer the deed into it
- Talk openly about what should happen to the house
- Keep key documents organized and accessible
- Maintain the property instead of deferring repairs
- Avoid adding children to the deed without legal advice
- Disclose mortgages, HELOCs, reverse mortgages, and HOA obligations
- Create a clear plan for multiple heirs
- Document the property’s value for stepped-up basis purposes
- Set up powers of attorney for incapacity
- Introduce the family to trusted professionals early
| What heirs wish |
What parents can do now |
Related guide |
| “Put the house in a trust to avoid probate” |
Create a revocable living trust and transfer the deed into it |
Should parents put their house in a trust? |
| “Talked about what happens to the house” |
Have a family conversation about who gets what, who decides, and whether to sell or keep |
Preparing to inherit property |
| “Addressed deferred maintenance” |
Address deferred maintenance on roof, HVAC, plumbing, and electrical before it becomes the heirs’ problem |
How to sell an inherited house |
| “Organized their estate documents” |
Create one accessible file with the deed, trust, will, mortgage info, insurance, and professional contacts |
Preparing to inherit property |
| “Disclosed the mortgage, HELOC, or reverse mortgage” |
Disclose all debts on the property: mortgage, HELOC, reverse mortgage, liens, and HOA balances |
Inherited property and debt |
| “Confirmed homeowners insurance was current” |
Confirm coverage is current; document the insurer, policy number, and agent; flag vacancy limits |
Inherited property insurance |
| “Created a plan for multiple heirs” |
Decide sell vs. keep, name a decision-maker, structure any buyout in the trust or will |
Selling inherited property with siblings |
| “Planned for capital gains tax and stepped-up basis” |
Consult a CPA; document the property’s value for stepped-up basis; check state reassessment rules |
Capital gains tax on inherited property |
| “Set up a durable power of attorney” |
Sign a durable financial POA and health care directive while still capable |
What the successor trustee needs to do |
| “Hired an estate attorney, CPA, and inherited property broker” |
Identify an estate attorney, CPA, and inherited property broker before the crisis hits |
The team you need to sell inherited property |
Why Do Heirs Wish Their Parents Had Put the House in a Trust?
Heirs wish their parents had put the house in a trust because without a trust or another probate-avoidance mechanism, the property may have to go through probate. Probate can take 6 to 18 months (longer in some states), costs thousands in attorney and court fees, and requires court approval before heirs can sell or transfer the property. Meanwhile, the bills keep coming.
Does a Trust Keep an Inherited House Out of Probate?
Yes. A properly funded revocable living trust typically keeps the house out of probate entirely, allowing the successor trustee to manage or sell the property under the trust terms without court involvement. There’s no court appointment, no waiting, and no public proceeding.
Here’s the irony: setting up a trust is usually far cheaper and easier than forcing heirs through probate later. Cost and timing vary by state, attorney, and complexity, but the investment almost always pays for itself.
What Happens If the Trust Was Created but the Deed Was Never Transferred?
If the trust was created but the deed was never transferred into it, the house goes through probate as if no trust existed. This is one of the most common and costly estate planning mistakes families discover after a death. The trust document generally does not control the property unless the deed is re-recorded in the name of the trust.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Created a revocable living trust and actually transferred the deed into it. Many parents create a trust but never re-record the deed, which means the house still goes through probate. To learn more, see our guide on whether your parents should put their house in a trust. If a trust is already in place and a parent has died, see our guide to selling a house in trust after death.
Why Should Parents Talk to Heirs About What Happens to the House?
Parents should talk to heirs about what happens to the house because silence almost always leads to conflicting assumptions, sibling disputes, and delays after a death.
The hardest part of inheriting property is rarely the legal process. It’s the silence that came before it. When families don’t talk about what should happen to the house, every heir fills the gap with their own assumptions.
One sibling thinks they’ll get the house because they grew up there. Another expects everything to be sold and split equally. A third assumed a sibling who lives nearby would handle all the work. When these assumptions collide after a death, the result is conflict, resentment, and sometimes litigation between people who used to get along fine.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Sat down with the family (or at least put it in writing) and explained what they wanted. Who gets the house? Should it be sold? Does one child want to keep it? If so, how does the buyout work? Who is in charge? These questions are uncomfortable to ask while a parent is alive, but they’re far more painful to answer after a death with no guidance.
The conversation doesn’t have to be a formal family meeting. Even a simple written summary of the parent’s wishes can prevent most of the conflicts heirs face.
Why Does Deferred Maintenance Create Problems for Heirs?
Deferred maintenance is one of the most expensive surprises heirs face. Aging parents often stop maintaining the property years before they die. Roofs leak. HVAC systems fail. Plumbing deteriorates. By the time the heirs take over, the house may need $30,000, $50,000, or more in repairs before it can be listed.
Selling a property in poor condition isn’t impossible, but it shrinks the buyer pool and lowers the price. Only cash buyers and investors tend to pursue homes that can’t pass a standard inspection, and they price accordingly. Heirs who expected to net $400,000 discover they’re looking at $320,000 after repair credits.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Addressed major maintenance while they were still alive and had the means. Roof, HVAC, plumbing, and electrical issues don’t get cheaper with time. Even if a full renovation isn’t realistic, keeping the property in sellable condition preserves its value for the heirs.
Should Parents Document the Condition of the House Before Death?
Yes. Even if a parent can no longer manage repairs, documenting the property’s condition (photos, inspection reports) while the parent is alive gives heirs a clear picture of what they’re dealing with and supports the date-of-death appraisal for tax purposes. See our step-by-step guide to selling an inherited house for more on selling as-is vs. making repairs.
What Documents Should Parents Organize Before Heirs Inherit a House?
What Documents Do Heirs Need After a Parent Dies?
In the first week after a parent dies, heirs need access to the will, the trust (if one exists), the deed, the mortgage statement, the insurance policy, the property tax bill, and the contact information for the family attorney, CPA, and insurance agent. When none of these documents can be found, everything stalls.
Heirs describe digging through filing cabinets, storage boxes, and drawers full of decades-old paperwork, trying to find a single deed. Some discover the will was never updated after a divorce. Others find out the insurance lapsed months earlier. One of the most common discoveries is that a trust was created but the deed was never transferred into it, which means the house goes through probate anyway.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Created a single, accessible file with every important document. A fireproof safe, a trusted attorney’s office, or a shared digital location that the trustee or executor knows about. Include the deed, trust, will, mortgage info, insurance policy, tax bills, and professional contacts.
Should Parents Create a Letter of Intent for Heirs?
Yes. A letter of intent is an informal document where the parent explains their wishes, the reasons behind their decisions, and practical details like where the keys are, who the neighbors are, and what the alarm code is. It’s not legally binding, but it prevents confusion and reduces conflict. For a full document checklist, see our guide to preparing to inherit property.
Why Should Parents Make a Plan for Personal Property Inside the House?
Parents should make a plan for personal property because conflict over belongings inside the house often starts before the real estate conversation does.
When people talk about what heirs wish their parents had done before they died, the focus is usually on the real estate. But conflict often starts with personal property long before the house is sold. Jewelry, furniture, artwork, photo albums, heirlooms, and even everyday household items can create resentment when there’s no plan. One sibling assumes sentimental items are theirs. Another believes everything should be divided equally. Small disagreements about the contents can poison the larger conversation about the house itself.
The better move would have been a written plan for personal property, even if informal. A list of who should receive specific items, or even a conversation about what matters to whom, can prevent outsized conflict later. Sorting the contents of the house is often emotionally harder than selling the house itself.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Written a list of who should receive specific items, or at the very least, had a conversation about what matters to whom. Even an informal, handwritten list can prevent outsized conflict between siblings over personal belongings.
Why Is Adding a Child to the Property Deed Before Death Risky?
Adding a child to the property deed before death is risky because it can create gift tax reporting obligations, creditor exposure, divorce risk, property tax reassessment, and stepped-up basis problems that a trust or transfer-on-death deed may avoid.
Well-meaning parents sometimes add a child to the deed “for convenience,” thinking it will make the transfer easier. It often makes things worse.
Can Adding a Child to the Deed Affect Step-Up in Basis?
Yes. Adding a child to the deed may reduce or eliminate the stepped-up basis on the transferred portion, creating a capital gains tax bill that inheriting through a trust or will would have avoided.
What Should Parents Do Instead of Adding a Child to the Deed?
A revocable living trust or a transfer-on-death deed (in states where available) can accomplish similar probate-avoidance goals, avoiding probate and naming a successor, without the same tax, creditor, or basis risks.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Talked to an estate planning attorney before making changes to the deed. That 30-minute consultation that prevents a $50,000 tax mistake is always worth it. For a full comparison of trusts, wills, TOD deeds, and joint tenancy, see our guide on whether your parents should put their house in a trust.
What Should Heirs Know About the Mortgage, HELOC, or Reverse Mortgage?
What Happens to a Mortgage After a Parent Dies?
Some heirs don’t discover the mortgage until after the death, when statements start arriving or lenders start calling. What they assumed was a free-and-clear property actually has significant debt against it. Federal law under the Garn-St. Germain Act generally prevents lenders from calling the loan due solely because the borrower died, but heirs must continue making payments or risk foreclosure.
What Happens to a HELOC After a Parent Dies?
A home equity line of credit (HELOC) may freeze or convert to repayment-only status after the borrower dies, and the lender may require full payoff. Heirs who don’t know a HELOC exists can be caught off guard by the balance, especially if the parent drew on the line in the final years.
What Happens to a Reverse Mortgage After the Borrower Dies?
Reverse mortgages create particular urgency. After the last borrower dies, the servicer typically issues a notice requiring payoff within a limited timeframe. Missing deadlines can trigger foreclosure proceedings. Heirs who don’t know a reverse mortgage exists can lose the property before they even understand the process.
The better move would have been simple transparency about the financial picture. How much is owed? To whom? Is there a reverse mortgage? Are property taxes current? Are there HOA dues or special assessments? Heirs don’t need every detail while the parent is alive, but they need enough to avoid a crisis when the time comes. Our guide to selling an inherited house covers reverse mortgages and other mortgage complications in detail.
What Should Parents Tell Heirs About Homeowners Insurance Before Death?
What Happens to Homeowners Insurance After the Owner Dies?
Heirs are often surprised to learn that homeowner’s insurance can lapse or change after the owner’s death. Some insurers cancel coverage when the property becomes vacant. Others require a different policy type once the estate owns the home.
Can Insurance Coverage Change If an Inherited House Is Vacant?
Yes. Many standard homeowners policies include vacancy clauses that limit or exclude coverage after 30 to 60 days of non-occupancy, which means an inherited house that sits empty during estate administration may lose coverage without the heirs realizing it.
Without insurance, a fire, storm, or liability claim can create a catastrophic financial problem for the heirs. An uninsured loss during estate administration can wipe out the property’s value entirely.
This is an easy one to prevent. Confirm that the property is properly insured and document the insurance company, policy number, and agent contact information. Heirs should notify the insurer immediately after a death to confirm coverage during the estate administration period and ask about vacancy limits. Our guide to inherited property insurance covers what changes after a death and how to handle vacancy policies. Consumer Reports has useful guidance on how homeowner’s insurance works after an owner’s death.
How Should Parents Plan for Multiple Heirs Inheriting One House?
Parents should decide whether the house will be sold or kept, name a single decision-maker, and put the plan in writing while they are still alive.
What Happens If One Sibling Wants to Sell and Another Wants to Keep the House?
When property passes to multiple heirs with no plan for how to handle shared ownership, the result is predictable: one sibling wants to sell, another wants to keep the house, a third wants to rent it out, and nobody agrees on anything.
Usually the sibling who lives closest ends up doing all the work: paying bills, managing vendors, and handling showings. Out-of-state siblings second-guess every decision. Resentment builds. Communication breaks down. In the worst cases, the family ends up in court with a partition action that forces a sale on terms nobody wanted.
Should Parents Name One Decision-Maker for the House?
Yes. Naming a single decision-maker in the trust or will prevents deadlock. This person can authorize the sale, choose the broker, approve the listing price, and manage the timeline without needing unanimous consent from every heir. Without a named decision-maker, even routine decisions can stall for weeks.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Decided, documented, and communicated the plan while they were alive. Should the house be sold and the proceeds split? Should one child get the house with a buyout for the others? Is there enough cash in the estate to cover carrying costs during the sale? These decisions are the parent’s to make, and heirs overwhelmingly prefer having a clear plan over having to negotiate with grieving siblings.
For more on how to navigate multi-heir inherited property sales, see our guide to selling inherited property with siblings.
What Should Parents Do If Heirs Will Inherit a House Out of State?
If heirs will inherit a house in a different state from where they live, parents should identify a local point person, whether a trusted neighbor, property manager, or broker, before it becomes urgent.
When the family home is in a different state from where the heirs live, every problem gets harder. Routine tasks like checking on the property, meeting contractors, clearing out belongings, or responding to emergencies turn into flights, hotel stays, and missed work. Families often underestimate how expensive and logistically difficult long-distance property management becomes after a death.
Even one reliable local contact changes the dynamic completely. A trusted neighbor, property manager, or broker who knows the area can save the heirs enormous time and stress.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Identified a local point person before the death, whether a trusted neighbor, property manager, or broker who knows the area, so heirs don’t have to start from scratch while managing everything from another state. For more, see our guide to selling inherited property out of state.
I Wish They Had Planned for Capital Gains Tax and Stepped-Up Basis
Most heirs don’t think about taxes until after the sale, when the CPA delivers the news. By then, the decisions that would have reduced the tax bill (timing of the sale, documenting the stepped-up basis, understanding state-level taxes) may no longer be available.
How Does Stepped-Up Basis Affect Inherited Property Taxes?
The stepped-up basis under IRC Section 1014 resets the property’s tax basis to its fair market value at the date of death, which can dramatically reduce or eliminate capital gains tax when heirs sell. This makes it one of the most valuable tax benefits available to heirs.
Why Is a Date-of-Death Appraisal Important for Heirs?
A date-of-death appraisal establishes the property’s fair market value at the time of the owner’s death, which becomes the heir’s stepped-up tax basis. Without a formal appraisal, heirs may struggle to defend their basis if the IRS questions it.
What State Tax Issues Can Affect Inherited Property?
State-level taxes add another layer. In some states, a transfer after death can trigger property tax reassessment or the loss of favorable tax treatment, so families should check state-specific rules early. State estate taxes kick in at much lower thresholds than the federal exemption. Inheritance taxes apply in a handful of states. None of these are obvious unless someone flags them in advance.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Consulted with a CPA who understands inherited property before the death, not after. A single planning conversation can identify tax traps and timing opportunities that save the family real money. For the full tax breakdown, see our guide to capital gains tax on inherited property and our guide to inherited property taxes. Heirs considering reinvesting in another property should also explore whether a 1031 exchange makes sense.
Why Do Parents Need a Durable Power of Attorney Before Incapacity?
Parents need a durable power of attorney before incapacity because without one, family members may have no legal authority to pay the mortgage, manage the property, or make financial decisions on the parent’s behalf.
Many families get blindsided by incapacity before death. A parent has a stroke, develops dementia, or is hospitalized, and suddenly the family realizes no one can act on their behalf.
What Happens If a Parent Becomes Incapacitated Without a Power of Attorney?
Without a durable financial power of attorney, the family may need to go through a court-supervised conservatorship to manage the property. Conservatorship is expensive, slow, invasive, and public. A power of attorney document costs a fraction of what conservatorship costs and can be set up in a single attorney visit.
Can a Power of Attorney Help Avoid Conservatorship?
Yes. A durable financial power of attorney allows a trusted person to step in and manage the parent’s property and finances during incapacity without court involvement, which is faster, cheaper, and more private than conservatorship. Set up a durable financial power of attorney and a health care directive while the parent is still capable. If the property is in a trust, the successor trustee handles incapacity automatically under the trust terms, which is another reason trusts are so valuable for real estate. For the complete probate process when there’s no trust, see our guide to probate real estate.
What Digital Access Should Parents Leave for Heirs?
Parents should leave heirs a secure record of digital accounts, passwords, and financial logins, stored in a password manager, a sealed document in the estate file, or a secure digital location the trustee or executor can access.
Today, many important records exist only online: mortgage accounts, property tax portals, insurance policies, utility accounts, and HOA portals. Without passwords or account access, heirs can spend weeks proving authority and trying to regain control of accounts they need to manage immediately.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Left a secure record of digital accounts, passwords, and financial logins. Options include a password manager, a sealed document in the estate file, or a secure digital location accessible to the trustee or executor. What matters is making sure at least one trusted person can access these accounts when the time comes.
I Wish They Had Hired an Estate Attorney, CPA, and Inherited Property Broker
Heirs who try to manage an inherited property sale without the right team consistently report that it costs them more time and money than hiring professionals would have. The wrong attorney, an inexperienced broker, or no CPA at all can turn a manageable process into a months-long disaster.
Why Should an Estate Attorney, CPA, and Real Estate Broker Coordinate?
Three professionals matter most: an estate planning attorney, a CPA who understands inherited property taxes, and a real estate broker experienced with probate and trust sales. These three need to coordinate with each other, not work in silos. For the broader selling process, see our complete guide to selling inherited property.
What heirs wish their parents had done: Identified these professionals before the death and made the introductions. When heirs are scrambling to find an attorney during the first week of grief, they’re not making their best decisions. See our guide to the team you need to sell inherited property for who to hire and when. If the property is out of state, our guide to selling inherited property out of state covers the logistics. Investment property owners should also see our guide to how inherited investment property is valued. Commercial or industrial property adds environmental due diligence as an additional concern. See our guide to environmental due diligence for inherited commercial property.
What Should You Share With Parents Before You Inherit a House?
What Is the Most Important Step Parents Can Take to Avoid Probate on Inherited Property?
Set up a revocable living trust and transfer the deed into it. This avoids probate, covers incapacity, speeds up the transfer, and gives the family a clear roadmap.
What If a Parent Won’t Talk About Estate Planning?
You can’t force the conversation, but you can make it easier. Frame it around making things simpler for the family, not around death. Offer to help with the process. Sometimes a conversation with a trusted advisor (attorney, CPA, or financial planner) is more effective than pressure from a child.
How Much Does Estate Planning Cost Compared to Probate?
Costs vary by market and complexity. A trust-based estate plan may cost a few thousand dollars, while probate can cost far more in legal fees, court costs, delay, and stress. Appraisal costs also vary by property type and market.
What Happens When Siblings Disagree About Selling Inherited Property?
Start the conversation while your parent is alive. Let the parent make the decision and put it in writing. After a death, if heirs can’t agree, options include mediation, a structured buyout, or (as a last resort) a court-ordered partition sale. For more, see our guide to selling inherited property with siblings.
Is It Too Late to Plan If a Parent Is Already Ill or Incapacitated?
It depends on the level of capacity. A parent who understands what they’re signing can still create a trust, update a will, or sign a power of attorney. If capacity is in question, an attorney can assess the situation. Once a parent loses capacity entirely, court involvement (conservatorship/guardianship) may be the only path.
Where Should Heirs Start If a Parent Has Done No Estate Planning?
Start with three things: have the conversation, consult an estate planning attorney, and pull a copy of the current deed. Those three steps will tell you what needs to happen next.
How Inherited Property Match Helps Heirs Sell Inherited Property
Most heirs do not know where to start when they need to sell an inherited property. A regular real estate agent may not have experience with probate sales, trust sales, estate cleanouts, title issues, multiple heirs, out-of-state heirs, or coordination with an estate attorney and CPA.
Inherited Property Match helps families find brokers with direct experience handling inherited property sales, including residential, commercial, and investment real estate. Each broker is matched to the property type and family situation, with an emphasis on keeping the legal, tax, title, and sale timelines aligned with the estate’s attorney, trustee, or CPA when needed.
If your parents are still alive, share this article with them. Every step on this list is easier to take before a death than after one.
If you have already inherited property and need to sell, start by confirming who has legal authority, gathering the property documents, and speaking with the estate’s attorney or trustee. From there, Inherited Property Match can help connect you with a broker experienced in inherited-property sales.
Find a Broker Experienced With Inherited Property Sales
About the Author
Rhett Fruitman is the co-founder of Inherited Property Match and President of Real Estate Broker Match (REBM). He has a background at Citi Private Bank, CBRE, and in the 1031 exchange industry, and focuses on helping families navigate the legal, tax, and logistical complexities of selling inherited property.
Connect with Rhett on LinkedIn
This article is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, tax, financial, or real estate advice. Every estate situation is unique. We strongly encourage you to work with qualified professionals, including a probate attorney, CPA, and experienced real estate broker, before making any decisions related to inherited property. Inherited Property Match is a service of Real Estate Foundation, Inc.